For Breakfast & Dinner, But Not For Lunch!

I stole that phrase from my sister Janet who just happens to be a faithful follower of my blog by the way. Say hi to Janet everyone! Sisters rock, don’t they? She’s so dying right now. LOL! Gotcha! *wink*
 

Anyway, for breakfast and dinner, but not for lunch?

What in the world does she mean by that?
 

One could only guess. But when you’ve been married as long as she and I have, you and your mate seem to blend into one. This doesn’t mean you’ve lost your own identity. It just means that you may finish each other’s sentences. It means you know each other’s moves and decision making process. In fact, I sometimes wonder why we even bother to talk to each other at all.
 

Just kidding! 🙂
 

Yet, during the course of a normal day, a couple may not spend all that much time together. They may both leave for work. Or one may go to work, while the other stays home with the children. And yes that is work. The point is, you both go about your day in a different direction.
 

Thus, you see each other for breakfast and dinner, but not for lunch.
 

Unless…You’re Pat Benatar.
 


(Photo: Stephen Lovekin)

 
For over thirty years Pat Benatar and her husband Neil Giraldo have been tied at the hip. “It’s kind of an incestuous relationship,” Pat told Parade magazine about her marriage. “There isn’t any part of our lives that isn’t intertwined. So even when there’s a conflict, you just have to resolve it.”
 
Neil interjected, “It was a partnership from the very beginning. We were just two missing pieces that found each other.”
 

Okay Pat, he is definitely a keeper!
 

Yet, Pat and her husband Neil’s relationship didn’t start out way. In her autobiography released in 2010, “Between a Heart and a Rock Place,” Pat says that when they met, she was separated from an army soldier that she had married at age 19. In fact, she knew on the day they wed that she was making a terrible mistake. At the same time, Neil wasn’t really free either because he was in a relationship with actress Linda Blair.
 

So what happened, considering that Pat says she wasn’t even looking for a boyfriend?
 

She said, “The most drop-dead gorgeous man I had ever seen in my life” walked in to her rehearsal one day and she thought, “Girl, you have just seen the father of your children.”
 

Then, while they were on tour, rehearsing and recording her debut album, Neil asked Pat to have a drink with him—alone. During their conversation at the restaurant that night, Neil confessed to her that he suspected Blair of having an affair. After he said that, she remembered thinking, “You…Are…Mine.”
 

Okay, he was a goner. Yet, how do we know these things girls?
 

It only took a few weeks before they became an official couple. Then, after Pat’s divorce came through in 1979, she and Neil married in Hawaii a few years later. From that time on, they have collaborated on a professional and personal level for thirty years and are still going strong.
 

Since Pat and Neil met, their journey has taken them through a dozen albums and more than 20 tours while they watched 19 hit singles reach the Top 40 chart. Pat’s won four Grammys, yet she insists that she and Neil “met as regular People” and that’s what helped them plant their relationship on terra firma.
 

Pat Benatar turned 60 last week and is still as dynamic as ever. She and her husband were on tour during last summer and will be in concert at selected cities around the U.S. throughout the spring.
 
“Treat Me Right” and I’ll be there in a heartbeat Pat.
 

Pat’s long partnership with her husband Neil is a result of mutual respect and acceptance that failure just isn’t an option. “I feel about him now the way I felt about him the very first moment I saw him, and I am so grateful for that,” Pat said to Parade. “We’re nuts about each other.”
 

Sounds like Pat and her husband are together not only for breakfast and dinner, but also for lunch. And something about that just doesn’t sound normal. Do you know what I’m saying?
 

Yet, the funny thing is, I know how Pat feels. And I have to admit I too feel the same way. Over the many years, my DH and I still share the same spark we felt when we first met. Although, I can’t say we’ve spent that many lunches together.
 

Well, until recently. 🙂
 

For some couples, this could be a cause of strain, as in, “Love Is A Battlefield.” Yet, I tend to agree with Pat. When two people are intertwined as a couple like we are, you need to have mutual respect and acceptance. And if there’s conflict, you just have to fix it. Failure is not an option because, “We Belong Together.”
 

So you may want to remember this…For Breakfast and Dinner, but not for Lunch. For you never know. It might just be the adage that saves your marriage.
 
 

Say, what do you think? How long have you been together with your special someone? Are you tied at the hip? Or do you find a unique time for yourself, interspersed with that significant other? What is the common thread that keeps you together?
 
 
Thank you so much for dropping by and for all your wonderful comments!
Karen

 
 
 

41 thoughts on “For Breakfast & Dinner, But Not For Lunch!

    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Louise! How are you? Are you staying bundled up and warm? I hear it’s been an extremely cold winter for you Canadians. Burrrr! Glad you enjoyed the story about Pat Benatar. It’s nice to hear that there are couples who can commit and work together to create a foundation for a good marriage. It doesn’t always happen, but when it does it give us hope that perhaps we can have that too Louise. But I’m happy to know that you’re at peace and enjoying the gift of singleness. I say gift, because it is so much better than suffering through an “empty marriage” as you say. Thank you Louise for stopping by and it was great to see you! Take care and have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

      Reply
  1. Lynn Kelley

    Hello to Janet! My goodness, look what your sister started here! JK! I was 17 when I met my hubby, almost 18, got married when I was 20. He was 24. We celebrated our 36th anniversary back in September. We raised 4 rascals/clowns. Hubby loves to joke around and so do I. What can I say? We’re a couple of old farts now. I’m off babysitting our grandson by day, trying to keep up with the writing by night (if I have any energy left!) and he now does most of the shopping, cooking, and cleaning (kinda)! Well, he tries. Well, actually he still lives like a bachelor as far as cleaning, but he gives it his best shot, so I gotta give him credit for that! We both have our faults but we’re committed (to each other, not to an asylum – yet! Give us another 36 years and that’s a possibility.) All kidding aside, humor has helped us through rough times, and I just wish we were younger so we could look forward to four or five more decades together.
    Lynn Kelley recently posted..Am RechargingMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Lynn! So great to see you! I know that you’re swamped with watching pumpkin. Yes, just look at what’s happened here. I have to say that I did not expect this kind of reaction to this post. For Breakfast & Dinner, But Not For Lunch has been a long standing joke between my sister and I. Yet, I am blown away at how everyone has shared such beautiful details of their relationship. We are surrounded by some pretty happily married couples. And that’s not very common these days as you well know. I knew that you and your DH were married for a long time like my hubby and I. Though I got married at age 18 and he was almost 20. We were young weren’t we Lynn? Scary now to thing of it. And no, you guys are certainly not ready for the asylum. LOL! Don’t worry Lynn. I can tell by the way you and your hubby get along that you will be together forever Lynn! Now that’s a long, long time. Thanks for sharing your story girl! Miss you! {{Hugs!}} 🙂

      Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi S.M.! Thank you so much for the compliment! May I ask you what the “S” in S.M. stands for? Are you a Sally or Susan? But I know we are fellow Wana-ites and I am so glad you popped in! Yes, I think Pat Benatar and her DH truly gave some wonderful lessons for anyone in a relationship. I had hoped that y’all would find it usful and encouraging. And yes, I would have to say that my hubby is a keeper also. I hate to brag about him. Don’t want to give him too big of a head, if you know what I mean? Thanks S.M. for stopping by and I hope to see you soon! Have a great weekend! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Lynette M Burrows

    Heh heh heh. We’re a dinner and sometimes lunch but almost never breakfast couple. 🙂 He’s a night owl and my job requires me to be an early riser (not that that’s my natural state, LOL). I love that line of Pat Benatar’s “a couple of missing pieces.” That’s what hubs and I are. We’re celebrating 19 years soon and he still looks at me with stars in his eyes. I hope he sees them reflected in mine ’cause I adore him!
    Lynette M Burrows recently posted..Set Yourself on Fire for 2013My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi there my dear friend! “We’re a dinner and sometimes lunch but almost never breakfast couple.” LOL! I hear ya, Lynette. What are you doing for work that requires you to get up before the crack of dawn? No, that would not be my natural state either. Yet, as with other commenters, opposites do attract, like “night” and “day”. Do you not just love the way Pat Benatar and her DH expressed their feelings about each other? I couldn’t have put it more beautifully. And Happy 19th Anniversary to you both Lynette! I love that the spark is still there after all the years that’s gone by. Don’t you find that hard to explain to someone who has never felt that way? I feel spoiled Lynette because I know that not everyone has the kind of relationshipe that we have. I can’t tell you how grateful that makes me feel. With everything that’s happened, it’s what gets us through the tough stuff, doesn’t it? I know you feel the same way. Thank you so much for sharing your story! {{Hugs!}} 🙂

      Reply
  3. Alicia Street

    Hi, Karen – Sorry I haven’t been around much lately – too many changes going on. Love your post, as usual. Roy and I are another ‘missing pieces that found each other’ couple. We’re soul mates who’ve weathered strange seas together with our difficult careers in the arts and then as writing partners. So, yeah, lunches, too. Hugs to you and your hubby. 🙂
    Alicia Street recently posted..Warm Winter ReadsMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Alicia! Oh am I ever so happy to see you! “too many changes going on.” I, as you know, understand that statement Alicia. But let’s not go there. Other than that, how are you and Roy? I miss you guys! And somehow I knew that you and Roy were “Soul Mates”. I and my DH are in it for the lunches too. Have been since the beginning, a long, long, time ago. God, I feel ancient when I think about it. LOL! But there is nothing better in the world than being with your best friend, lover and business partner! We’ve got a lot to be grateful for Alicia, don’t we? You and Roy “Rock” my dear friends! Thank you so much for coming by! I’m sending big hugs to you both! Stay healthy and I hope to see you soon! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Alarna Rose Gray

    What a love story that is! Creative partnerships I think have a special ebb and flow of their own, and kind of lend themselves to being joined at the hip (I’m in one of those). Others seem to be much healthier with lunch apart! Whatever works, I say… plus some give and take and a whole lot of mutual respect.

    ( Happy Blogoversary for last week, too, Karen! Another important relationship worth celebrating 🙂 )
    Alarna Rose Gray recently posted..Just BreatheMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      HI Alarna! Wasn’t that a great story? I just had to share it. In a world in which couple are given the sense that their relationship is doomed, it was so nice to share the success of a couple who are in the public eye. I was trying to bring all of us a ray of hope. That perhaps if we apply the same attitude that has obviously worked in their relationship, it could invariably work in ours. I think it’s wonderful that you are currently joined at the hip. I wish you all the best Alarna! I myself am in a Breakfast, Dinner and Lunch kind of relationship. And it’s been working for many years. And I’m sorry you missed my Blogoversary party Alarna. We had a blast! But thank you very much! And as always, it is so great to see you! 🙂

      Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Oh Kristy. I can see how you might say such a thing. Especially after coming behind Serena’s comment. Well, and there is Pat Benatar too. What can I say? We all can’t be married to Rockstars, right? Believe it or not Kristy, I don’t know how my post became so serious. The saying, “For Breakfast & Dinner, But Not For Lunch” is kinda a joke between my sister and I. This whole thing started with that Christine MacKenzie. She had to start bragging about her hubby again and then everyone followed suit. Obviously, I do not have much control over my blog. Well, anyway, we love ya Kristy and I know one thing is true. I truly believe that there is a special someone for everyone. And that includes you my dear friend. Thank you for leaving a comment and sharing how you feel and for your honesty Kristy. {{Hugs!}} 🙂

      Reply
  5. Serena Dracis

    Hub and I had only been together for 7 months when he said, “Hey, when we’re in Las Vegas in March, what do you say we get married?” We won the trip in a radio contest and March was the soonest we could get there with my nursing school schedule. You could have knocked me over with a feather! This from the man who had told me (very early in our dating) “Don’t fall in love with me, baby, I’ll break your heart” and “I’ll never get married again!” That was in 2005 and we’re still going strong.

    We don’t fight. I know, it sounds weird, but we don’t. We disagree, we get upset from time to time, but it never devolves into a yelling match. Mostly because it’s not in my nature, and he hates fighting. So we talk it out, and sometimes we agree to disagree. But, he’s a keeper; he puts up with my crazy ghost-talking and how I sink into my writing so thoroughly that I literally do not hear him when he starts talking.

    He is the total rockstar extrovert that loves being the center of attention in a throng of people. Me, I’m the shy introvert, and I have lost count of the times people have run up to me, yelling my name, give me a big hug…and I haven’t a clue who they are. Not one, not even their face is familiar. Just because they all know Hub, so by extension, they all know me. It’s kinda crazy sometimes, but I love him, and the song he dedicates me all the time is…Your The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me by Gladys Knight and the Pips. Yep, he’s a keeper. 🙂
    Serena Dracis recently posted..Wild Wednesday – Go Batty!My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Serena, my HB girlfriend! Wow! Just Wow! “Don’t fall in love with me, baby, I’ll break your heart” and “I’ll never get married again!” And he asked you to marry him after only seven months? Okay, seriously, what is your secret? Well, besides NOT fighting? I think your story sounds like it came out of a novel Serena. And talk about opposites attract. Hello! What a romantic love connection girl. And I love “Your The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me!” Although I only know the Gladys Knight and the Pip’s version. Yes, I would definitely say he is a keeper! You guys Rock It in the relationship department! Congrats to you and thank you so much for sharing your story! 🙂

      Reply
  6. Ginger Calem

    Great post. William and I will celebrate 19 years married next month, together for 22 years. He’s totally stuck with me! haha We do a lot together and I think the fact that we are often laughing helps our marriage stay strong, like best friends. We finally took a true vacation this past fall, as it we really had not done that for over 18 years. It was awesome. We will be doing that more and more now that I kids are no longer ‘little’.

    Oh and while we do have many things in common, we are totally different in many ways. Our differences fill in the gaps in each other.
    Ginger Calem recently posted..WritersButt Wednesday – Kill Your Excuses!My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Ginger! You and William have been together for a long time. Yes, laughing helps. But cord that binds you together and give your relationship strength is the fact that you are best friends. Obviously, the spark is still there, but we need mutual respect for one another to keep it going, yes? And I was so happy to hear that you and hubby finally got the chance to get away together. With kids at home, it does make it hard to do. But I know you guys had a wonderful time. You know how I favor mom and dad alone time. And all our differences are what keeps the fires burning Ginger! Congrats to you and William! And thanks for sharing your story! 🙂

      Reply
  7. Prudence MacLeod

    Hi Karen, great post. We are at 17 yrs and still in the honeymoon stage. The funny thing is, when you have a relationship like this it seems to spill over into the rest of your relationships, friends, family, etc. Well, to a fair extent anyway. Every day just seems brighter.
    Prudence MacLeod recently posted..Back on TrackMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      HI Prudence! It’s funny. Initially, it was not my intention for the post to take on such a serious note. For Breakfast & Dinner, But Not For Lunch is somewhat of a joke between my sister and I. But look at all the fantastic comments that everyone has made in regard to their relationship. I’m really blown away. 🙂

      Reply
  8. Patricia

    I need my alone time, but I love spending time with my husband too, even if we’re not talking, just sitting in the same room watching t.v. or something.

    Because my husband is a bartender, we have to find time to be together that works around our respective job schedules. Sometimes that means he meets me for lunch or I stop by the bar after work for a drink so I can see him for a little while before heading home. We do what works for us.

    And, I am so totally with you girl on that Pat Benatar concert! She was one of my absolute favs in high school. I could probably sing along with every song right now and not miss a lyric.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt
    Patricia recently posted..What Haven’t I Done?My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Patricia! I hear you on the alone time my friend. But nothings better than spending time together. Even if it is doing nothing but sharing the same space. Yes, your hubby does keep unusual hours. I can appreciate to what measures you take in order to make things work. Yet, it is so worth every effort, isn’t it? That’s awesome Patricia! Thanks so much for sharing your story. Now about Pat Benatar. She can still rock the stage. I too love her music. I thought I’d share this with you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxZInIyOBXk We can sing along together! Enjoy! {{Hugs!}} 🙂

      Reply
  9. Jennifer Jensen (@jenjensen2)

    Hi, Karen (and Janet!). We’re going on 34 years, some of that as students, ten years of Navy life, and through the ups and downs of life afterwards. Plus three kids. Sometimes we’ve been joined at the hip, but mostly (especially after the Navy years), we have our own interests, too. I write and ride, he builds things. I’m more of a night owl, and he’s early to bed, so we don’t really have breakfast and dinner, just dinner. (I refuse to get up at 5 am to fix him breakfast!) And yet my heart still beats fast when I see him across a room.

    I think the key for us is that we consider marriage to be for eternity (we’re Mormon). So it’s not just “don’t sweat the small stuff,” it’s some of the big stuff too. What might cause some couples to become disconnected just isn’t worth it for us. And when you go into a marriage thinking that, it’s amazing what you can get through together.

    Although I have to agree with Pat, too – I’m incredibly lucky to have found my guy. And I’m not sure how he puts up with me!
    Jennifer Jensen (@jenjensen2) recently posted..RSS and Me – Technological Alzheimer’sMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Jennifer! Well look at you! 34 years is nothing to sneeze at Jen. Aw Jen, I love this statement, “my heart still beats fast when I see him across a room.” That is so special. You and your husband have worked hard together to make your relationship work. With eternity in view, that does make a huge difference Jen. You work things out because failure is not an option. And it is amazing what a couple can go through, yet stick together, isn’t it? I am so sure that you are not hard to put up with girl. Sounds like you both have been tremendously blessed. Congrats to you both and thank you for sharing your story! 🙂

      Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Pat! Okay, we have so much in common. Hubby and I have been married for thirty-seven years also! Hooray for us! You, sound ancient Pat? We are ancient! LOL! “Long-lived marriages take work, mutual respect, the desire to keep the spark alive.” You are so right. And you and hubs are fortunate. I feel it’s because of all the work, mutual respect and spark you both put into it. And that’s why it’s worked Pat. No doubt about it. Good for you guys. That’s something to be treasured! Congratulations my dear friend!

      Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      HI Coleen! Wow, 20 years! Good for you guys! That is definitely something to celebrate! When is this event? Are you and hubby doing something special? I love “there’s an ebb and flow but we agree on the important things and try not to sweat the small stuff.” That’s what it’s all about girl. That is so cool! I couldn’t be more happier for the two of you. It’s so great to hear about couples that share a unique bond together. Congratulations to the both of you! 🙂

      Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Julia! See, another opposites attract. Jennette Powell just said something similiar. Although, I don’t think her story was as drastic as yours. Doomed, eh? Well that’s the way to prove them all wrong girl! Congrats to you and your hubby for showing them otherwise! Uh, joined at the hip? Well, until hubby’s accident I would say no. But, over the last couple of years, yes we have been. But you know Julia, we’re okay with it. Yes, it does get a little crazy sometimes, but then again we’re dealing with a lot of stress, right? So naturally we all can blow off steam. All and all we have a wonderful relationship. I am so grateful for that. He’s my best friend. We are exceptionally close. Thanks for sharing your story Julia! All the best to you! 🙂

      Reply
  10. Jennette Marie Powell

    DH & I are total opposites, personality-wise, but we agree on the important thing like money, parenting, and life goals. What works for us is tolerance – and getting out of each other’s way! We would probably kill each other if we were in each other’s face all day! But we’re coming up on our 19th anniversary, so I guess it works for us!
    Jennette Marie Powell recently posted..What is the best book you read all last year?My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Jennette! You know the old saying, “Opposites Attract!” And you and your DH have common goals in Life. It’s the big stuff that’s important, not the little things. LOL, “getting out of each other’s way!” I love it Jen! And I hear ya on the killing part girl. My DH and I since the accident are together 24/7. Serious. I’m laughing right now. It’s okay, it works. He’s in one room and I’m in another, so we give each other space. I’d say 19 years Jennette is something huge to celebrate girl! Yeah, I’d say it’s working! Congratulations Jenn! 🙂

      Reply
  11. CC MacKenzie

    “It was a partnership from the very beginning. We were just two missing pieces that found each other.”

    And that is a very true statement. H proposed to me two weeks after we met at work and I said yes. I remember my parents being stunned(!) But they’d met him and the way we talked on the phone for hours sort of gave them an inkling that something big had happened to their determinedly single daughter. I was twenty and a career girl. H was twenty-nine and knew as soon as he met me that I was ‘his.’ The age difference never bothered him because as he says himself, ‘You have an incredible mind.’

    Actually, he’s dead right about that, except he should have swapped incredible for crazy 🙂

    We’ve been married for over twenty five years and have three children. He’s my best friend, lover and business partner.

    We might not meet for lunch, but we do meet for breakfast and dinner!

    Great post!
    You’re on a roll!!!
    CC MacKenzie recently posted..NAUGHTYMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Christine! If I was giving away a prize away for the first one here, you would win! I had to take hubby to the doctor today so I’m just now getting back to everyone.

      Anyway. Wasn’t that an amazing quote? It is so true. You must have freaked out your parents Christine. Two weeks? Yet, when you know, you know. And at age 29, H was ready to settle down. Now you? I’m not sure about that. LOL! Crazy, yes! But, it sounds like you waited a while to have children. That helps alot. I got married at age eighteen and hubby was 20. Yikes. We just knew. Was it hard since both of us had growing pains? Sure it was. Yet, “Failure was not an option” for us. And we just clicked and still do. When you are each other’s best friend, lover and partner, there is nothing better in this world. It’s perfection Christine and we have a lot to be grateful for. Thank you my friend! Give my best to “H”! Now stay out of trouble! 🙂

      Reply
      1. CC MacKenzie

        I’ll never stay out of trouble.

        But life throws us curves and it’s how we deal with them that matters. H has been there, front and centre and has never wobbled.
        You’re the same. And so is Pat Benatar!
        We rock!

        Woot!
        CC MacKenzie recently posted..CHILLED TO THE BONEMy Profile

        Reply
        1. Karen Post author

          Now that I can believe. And there is no doubt that H has been there throughout everything. But so have you. And yes, we do ROCK! Woot! {{Hugs!}}

          Reply

Leave a Reply to CC MacKenzie Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Click to "Follow Me" and receive new posts by email