Anger Can Be Draingerous!

 
Okay, hold on to your britches! There’s a misspelt word in the title!
 
Yes, I know. Be patient, I’ll explain in just a moment.
 
      

Anger…
 

That’s a subject that a lot of us don’t like to talk about. It’s uncomfortable for most of us, yet it’s a part of us. It’s as much a part of us as any other emotion, such as love, hope, worry or fear.
 

That said, anger is not always a draingerous emotion. If used properly, anger can be an extremely productive way to encourage our determination to overcome certain obstacles or goals. So if we think of it as a controlled substance, there are times when an expression of anger may be appropriate.
 

It is an essential emotion that writers can instill in their characters to create great drama and conflict. But what happens when this emotion turns its ugly head and becomes draingerous? Remember, anger is an emotion that we all carry with us 24/7.
 

Well, first we might ask ourselves, why is there so much anger? It’s an important question to ask if we are to use the emotion of anger properly. And since the cause of most anger is one of the most complex subjects, we’ll just stick with the specifics.
 

There is a general consensus by health professionals today that most anger is a trigger emotion. It is a trigger that often results from injustice. It can occur when we’ve been slighted, insulted or when shown a form of disrespect.
 

“Anger triggers” can vary from person to person. And depending upon our age, gender or culture it may affect us differently. There are those of us who are seldom affronted, while others are easily provoked, holding on to anger like a security blanket for days, weeks, months and sadly even years.
 

It seems that a self-centered world is filled with the potential for such triggers of anger. Then add sensitivity into the mix and you’ve got an explosion of anger inducements from poor parental example, cramped living space, economic disparity, prejudice, injustice and bullyism just to name a few. Well maybe more than a few. But you get the point.
 

The urge to become angry and blow off this proverbial steam can be so overwhelming!
 
So how can we manage to keep this emotion of anger under control?
 

For several years, give or take 2,000 or more, the thought was to let one’s tension release through anger and a sense of psychological refreshment would emerge. This point of view was taken from the Greek philosopher Aristotle and later a neurologist named Sigmund Freud. They both claimed that if people repressed their negative emotions and restrained them they would develop a mental disorder such as hysteria.
 

Well, that’s all fine and dandy for a fictional character in a novel, but for those of us non-fictional characters, does this really work? And is it healthy? Studies have now shown that “Letting It All Out” with your anger often leaves us feeling more uptight and less relieved.
 

So what can we do?
 

1- Try to avoid doing or saying something that we may later regret so as not to trigger that draingerous form of anger in the first place. (I know, much easier said than done. But it can be done!)
 
2- To reduce anger: slow down and unwind. If we feel ourselves becoming overly anxious or excited and are in danger of losing it, let’s take our leave, take a walk or meditate. There is a proverb that says, “Where there is no wood, the fire goes out.”
 
3- Learn to relax. Follow technics that have proven to be effective in combating stress-related anger: Breath deeply with slow repetition. Immerse yourself in something that you enjoy such as reading, listening to your favorite music, regular exercise and eating a healthy diet.
 

While we try to put these few suggestions into practice, we might also want to make sure that our expectations are realistic. If our expectations of ourselves and others are too high, this may also lead us into a life of frustration and anger.
 

So remember—All of us can become angry from time to time and how we convey that anger is a matter of personal choice. If we express our anger in a more positive manner, it can be a healthy way to compose a fine masterpiece and work of art. On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to circle the drain with a more negative complex form of anger, it can prove to be, as my youngest son used to say when he was just a little guy—draingerous! 🙂
 
 

So what do you think? What kinds of things make you frustrated and angry? What do you do to keep calm and cool? Do you enjoy harnessing that powerful emotion of anger into a character? What helps you develop characters that are filled with anger?
 
 

Would you like to see more great posts like you saw today? Then I encourage you to go now! Run up to the top right hand side of the page and click on the Follow button to receive your personal copy of future posts!!!!
 
 

Thank you everyone for dropping by and for all your wonderful comments!
Karen

 
 
 

40 thoughts on “Anger Can Be Draingerous!

  1. Chucky

    I find recognizing and dealing with frustration to be so important. Sometimes we try to stay calm and collected when in fact there’s a blazing fire that needs dousing.

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Ah yes, the blazing fire. And really, isn’t the most important thing that we do about our feelings is recongnition and dealing with them in a calm peaceful manner. It shows self-respect and our respect for others. Thank you so much for your comment and for stopping by for a visit! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Claire

    Sometimes we try to stay calm and collected when in fact there’s a blazing fire that needs dousing. And the longer we “stuff” emotions, the worse they become. Thanks for sharing..

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Well hi Claire! Thank you for stopping in to visit and leaving a comment on my blog! So happy to meet you and I appreciate your feelings on this subject and sharing them with us! Hope to see you soon! 🙂

      Reply
  3. KM Huber

    Hey, Karen!

    There is not too much I have not tried when it comes to anger but if it is possible, I write, which has worked since the first time I tried it. Often, the writing turns from anger into fiction, an essay, almost anything but the anger truly is gone the minute I start to see it on the page.

    Since my study of Taoism–this is also somewhat true for me for Buddhism–I explore the experience of whatever is occurring in the moment, and even without writing, the moment is defused and not suppressed.

    Excellent post and discussion.

    Karen

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Okay seriously Karen, you are the only person that left this kind of comment. I think that is awesome that you can put your anger onto the page and leave it there where is becomes more productive! Truly awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. They are always encouraging and helpful! Thanks for coming by Karen! Take care of yourself and your sweet Doggie! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Julia

    You mean I can’t just stuff it? Anger must serve some prehistoric purpose. It definitely sneaks up from some lizard brain level. Favorite anger management tool? sorry, X rated. Great to have you back Karen.
    Julia recently posted..Music for the love of itMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Julia, great to see you! LOL, “I can’t just stuff it?” Well, if you want to I guess you could. A prehistoric purpose is an interesting way of looking at anger Julia. I’m glad that you have an anger management tool and thanks for not sharing! LOL! Your hilarioustoday Julia! Thanks for stopping by and for your intellectual point of view! Take care girl! 🙂

      Reply
  5. Anthony V. Toscano

    Karen,

    These days when I’m feeling frustrated or angry, I:

    * Sit in a sunny place, close my eyes and forget all but the warmth.
    * Look for happy babies’ faces in a crowd (can’t help but notice that what I’m forgetting — the small miracles that surround me — are the wonder of Life to them).
    * Search for the color green. Not sure why, but green calms me down. Springtime trees, mint tea, a bright salad for lunch.
    Anthony V. Toscano recently posted..Verse I: Love In The Time of HorowitzMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Well hey there Anthony! Great to see you! How is life treating you these days? Ooh, I like your suggestions! When we take in the warmth of the sun and absorb the sweet face of an adorable baby, how can it not make us smile? Wonderful mood changing technique I must say! And what is is about the color green? It has always been my favorite color! The fresh color of new! Sounds like you’re enjoying life Anthony! What could be better? Take care and thank you for coming by and sharing your thoughts! 🙂

      Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Why thank you Miss Marcy! 🙂 Well music is an emotional trigger. So if you’re listening to one of your favorite tunes, why yes, crank it up girl! That should deffinitely change your mood! Great comment! Thank you Marcy for stopping by!

      Reply
  6. Jennette Marie Powell

    “Draingerous” – what a fun word! If someone cuts me off in traffic, I do get tempted to road rage – and talk myself out of it by reminding myself that it totally doesn’t matter in the bigger scheme of things! Or relax a bit by thinking that maybe that person’s late to work, or has to go to the bathroom really bad. 😀 As for the bigger things, like the child- and animal-abusers Patricia mentions, if it’s something I can’t do anything about, I just don’t let myself think about it too much.

    But I’m surprised no one’s mentioned one of my faves: Someone who regularly angers you? Kill them in fiction! 😀
    Jennette Marie Powell recently posted..Dear Barnes and Noble…My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      So you like my word draingerous, do you Jennette? Well, as you can see, I can’t take full credit for using that word. That would be my son as a toddler. He couldn’t say dangerous. It always came out as draingerous. LOL! Funny how you remember those things. And yes, you can alway kill someone off in fiction if they anger you! LOVE that Jennette! Thank you for mentioning that and for sharing your thoughts! 🙂

      Reply
  7. Emma Burcart

    I love the play on words! You are right, anger can be draining. The big thing that I emphasize with kids is that it is ok to feel angry, it’s what you do with the anger that can make it not good. I can feel anger, and then let it go. But, if I act out in anger and hurt myself or someone else, that creates a new problem. I think we need to learn to feel our feelings so that we can then let them go and move on. Sometimes just saying, “I’m angry about this.” is enough to make me able to let go. It’s when we don’t want to feel it that we try and push it off on someone else, by lashing out, that it’s a problem. Thanks for the ensightful post and the tips. I love when you give us concrete steps to take!
    Emma Burcart recently posted..Why Do We Have To Be So Mean?My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Oh Emma, thank you for bringing out this point! Yes, it’s okay to feel angry, but it’s what we do with that emotion that is so important. And learning how to feel first and letting go so we can move forward is such a great suggestion. Thanks Emma for sharing your awesome insight! I’m glad you stopped by! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Kristy K. James

    Oh, this post hit close to home. Sometimes I struggle with anger…usually when I’m really stressed out and need a little quiet time (this tends to happen when PMS rears its ugly head). Some people just don’t like to give you that time. More often than not I keep it inside, which I don’t think is good…but neither is allowing words out of your mouth that should have been left unspoken.

    I make use of deep breathing to help me. Can’t say enough good about that. 🙂
    Kristy K. James recently posted..A Reblog from Debra Kristi…and Day 10 on the Enza Blog TourMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Kristy! I think most of us struggle with some form of anger. I thought it was interesting that we carry that emotion with us all the time. The trick is not to let someone or something trigger it. But quiet time is very important. And well, PMS is ugly. And we can’t take back words after they’ve rolled off of our tongue. Yes breathe Kristy, breathe! Thank you Kristy for coming by and sharing your thoughts. Stay cool girl! 🙂

      Reply
  9. Reetta Raitanen

    Insightful post and great advice on how to deal with anger. I like August’s anger remedies. Breathing is surprisingly important and often when we’re emotional, we are surface breathing.

    Good old counting to 10 trick has prevented me from letting out frogs out of my mouth. It’s better to think what you want to say than blurt out exactly what you feel. Communicating while angry puts the other on defense instantly.
    Reetta Raitanen recently posted..Link Feast vol. 6My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Reetta! I’m glad that you found the suggestions in the post helpful and insightful. And yes, breathing really does help and counting. You can’t take words back once they’ve slipped off of our tongue. And thank you for bring out the fact that communication while angry can put the other person on the defense. Great advice Reetta! Thank you so much for your comment and for stopping by! 🙂

      Reply
  10. Sheila Seabrook

    Excellent suggestions, Karen! Some people are more prone to anger than others. I’m pretty easy going and rarely get angry. I’ve learned that it’s more pleasant to deal with the issue immediately, rather than hold it inside. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hey there Sheila! I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately girl! How are you! Funny, but I had the feeling that you were a pretty cool cat! And ain’t that the truth Sheila. Deal with the issues right away, rather than letting them fester. Great advice! Thanks Sheila for coming to see me! Take care! 🙂

      Reply
  11. Lynn Kelley

    “Draingerous,” love it! Great advice, Karen. When someone picks on my kids, that always steams my noodle. And crooked politicians or those in authority who take advantage of those they hold power over, that angers me. I was going to write more, but there’s a little guy crying for a bottle. Take care!
    Lynn Kelley recently posted..More Altered Art Photo Boxes – Homemade GiftsMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Aw yes, Draingerous! Well Lynn, when my youngest son was a toddler, he couldn’t say dangerous. It always came out as draingerous. I couldn’t help but use his expression. Glad you appreciated it. And yes, it is hard to NOT get angry when someone we love is abused or mistreated. And let’s not start on the crooked politicians. That would put those suggestions for controling anger to the test. LOL! Thanks for squeaking out the time to stop by to see me and for leaving a comment today Lynn! Give pumpkin a hug! 🙂

      Reply
  12. Rachel

    Hi Karen, great and thoughtful post. A friend and I once discussed the fact that in our culture, anger is the only emotion men are allowed to express publicly. We don’t let boys/men cry and we don’t want to see a man whine like a girl, so all they have left is anger. No wonder there’s so much need for “anger management” we need to let the guys know that it’s safe and okay to express all of their emotions without being perceived as weak.
    Rachel recently posted..Craftastic! Transforming $14.99 into — Hello Gorgeous!My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Rachel! How are you girl? You’ve made a very interesting point about our culture and the condoning the unacceptable behavior of anger in men. I’ve never thought of it in that way. And I have to agree with you that it’s okay for men to show their emotions without being perceived as weak. I was hoping that our society had change it’s perception of this trait, but apparently it hasn’t. That’s really sad. Thanks for your insight and leaving your comment. Always good to see you! 🙂

      Reply
  13. Ginger Calem

    Another great post and such great (and timely) tips! Recently I’ve been trying to control this pesky anger emotion because usually, it’s me allowing someone else’s actions or words make me feel angry. I’m giving them control over my emotions. Oh, no, no, no … not anymore! I just say ‘cancel’ in my head, and concentrate on turning that moment, conversation or situation into something either positive or at least in a better direction. Not easy but it’s a useful tool.
    Ginger Calem recently posted..WritersButt Wednesday: Calling for a Group Hug. You in?My Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Thank you Ginger! You’ve made a very good point. We do give others control over our emotions when anger is triggered. Just say no to anger and change the situation into a positive one Great advice! Thanks Ginger for your comment and for coming by! 🙂

      Reply
  14. Patricia

    Hi Karen! Good stuff to remember. I don’t get truly angry very often, but there are injustices in the world that make me want to kill someone if I could. Like child or animal abusers. I’d be out there with a shotgun Johnny quick and take care of those offenders. But I know I can’t do that, so I just fume for a few minutes, call the offender every bad name I can think of and then go on about my business.

    I work in the legal field so I have to deal with “injustices” on a daily basis. There is nothing just about the justice system believe me. But, I don’t make the rules, I just try to follow them.

    Good advice about finding a release mechanism. No sense holding on to all of that negativity.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Hi Patricia! Remind me never to get on your bad side! LOL! I’m just kidding girl! Injustice is a very frustrating issue to deal with. And I would think you’d understand with your legal background that there is really no justice in the system Patricia. So it’s good to put some of these suggestions into practice. Breathe Patricia, breathe! Release the negativity! Aw, thanks girl for coming by and for your comment! 🙂

      Reply
  15. Prudence MacLeod

    I agree, great tips. Uncontrolled anger is a sure path to failure. Anger will push away the very people who can help you have your needs met. As a person who had to learn to control her temper quite young, I have much experience in this field.
    great post, Karen.
    Prudence MacLeod recently posted..DilemmaMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Well said Prudence. I understand how damaging anger can be. I’m an Irish girl and my hair should have been red. LOL! But I never could stay angry and I suspect that you couldn’t either. Thank you Pru for your comment and for coming by! 🙂

      Reply
  16. Tim L O'Brien

    Another great post Karen! Coming up with healthy ways to deal with anger and frustration can be draining (get it?). I’ve tried so many ways to deal with anger: turning the other way, ignoring, deep breaths, chill pills, a six pack of beer, remaining silent, meditation, yelling, screaming, venting, throwing things and kicking the dog (not really). But now, as I grow older, I have mellowed towards that which makes me angry. Now I just laugh at the absurd and move on.
    Tim L O’Brien recently posted..The Fall of a Nation’s PrideMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Got it Tim! LOL! And may I just say that age has a way of mellowing us all out my friend. Sorry to say, but it’s true. Good to know that you’re not kicking the dog. But a beer sounds good! Thanks Tim for coming by! I’m glad you enjoyed the post! 🙂

      Reply
  17. Pat O'Dea Rosen

    Love “On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to circle the drain with a more negative complex form of anger, it can prove to be, as my youngest son used to say when he was just a little guy—draingerous!” I’ve spun around the drain a few times and agree it’s pointless and exhausting. My current favorite remedy is to take a walk–and I may mumble and gesticulate along the way. Thanks for this post, Karen.
    Pat O’Dea Rosen recently posted..Stereotype-Busting in ParisMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Bon jour Pat! I do hope that your Paris vacation lived up to what you had wanted it to be! What a fantastic opportunity! Ah yes, circling the drain of anger IS exhausting. I’m with you, walking is a great way to work out anger triggers. I’m glad you liked my new word draingerous! It’s been kept in the family for years now. My son is probably going to kill me when he reads this. LOL! Thanks Pat for stopping by! Always great to see you! 🙂

      Reply
  18. August McLaughlin

    Great tips, Karen! I find recognizing and dealing with frustration to be so important. Sometimes we try to stay calm and collected when in fact there’s a blazing fire that needs dousing. And the longer we “stuff” emotions, the worse they become.

    My favorite remedies are writing, exercising, talking things out and making sure I’m taking good care of myself—sleeping, eating well, breathing, etc.
    August McLaughlin recently posted..Fact or Fiction: 10 Diet Myths DebunkedMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Karen Post author

      Well August, you seem to have it together girl! Certainly, blowing up after stuffing our emotions isn’t healthy. I like your remedies. They make perfect sense! Thanks August for your comment and suggestions! 🙂

      Reply

Leave a Reply to Emma Burcart Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Click to "Follow Me" and receive new posts by email